I’m Feeling 22 and I’m Not Sure How to Feel About It

The other day I was in the car running errands when Taylor Swift’s song, “22” came on the radio:

“We’re happy free confused and lonely at the same time
It’s miserable and magical, oh yeah
Tonight’s the night when we forget about the deadlines, it’s time

I don’t know about you but im feeling 22
Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you
You don’t know about me but I bet you want to
Everything will be alright if we just keep danc–”

Yeah, I had about enough and decided to instead jam to Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us” for the umpteenth time. No disrespect to T-Swift, but no song could make me ecstatic about June 7th, also known as my 22nd birthday. For some reason I’m not marking down the days on the calendar or making plans with my friends to get turnt up. In fact, I haven’t even made a birthday list yet!

Yes, I’m too old for birthday lists but I lack even an ounce of care.

My sentiments toward my birthday are the exact opposite as last year, when I counted down the very second until I turned the big two-one. There was something magical about 21, and I’m not talking about being able to order a Tequilla Sunrise rather than a Shirley Temple. It felt like a rebirth, a new start. Though I was already one year out of my teens, I felt like I finally crossed over into the wonders of young adulthood. Ages 13-20 were full of awkward stages, acne, and stupid boys. But 21 felt like a brand new Lexus; 22 kind of feels like your dad’s old Buick.

Perhaps my lack of enthusiasm can be linked to all of the changes that 22 will bring. It’s a huge check, signed by reality. I’ll be graduating from college, getting ready for grad school, and starting my attempt at world domination- Oprah style. But like Rakim, I’m thinking of a master plan, and honestly it’s making my brain hurt.

To me, your 20s are the time to lay down the foundation for success. Right now I feel like I have the tools to build it, but no blueprint to guide me. I’ve learned that with age comes wisdom, more responsibilities, and even more confusion. Just when we thought we had it all figured out, we don’t. I realize this and it’s quite scary.

Since we’re talking birthdays here, being a June baby makes me a Gemini (or a Cancer, but they’re weird). Though I’m not a huge believer in horoscopes, I do agree that although Geminis are totally adaptable to whatever comes our way, we can be sometimes be restless and nervous in the process.

Geminis are such walking contradictions. Rather than try to understand, just nod and agree.

photo (1)I’ve tried many ways to get excited about my 22nd birthday, especially since even my iPhone remembered. I even considered it to be the first anniversary of 21st birthday, but unfortunately Hallmark doesn’t make cards such an occasion.

As I’m writing this, a quote that I once heard just popped into my head: “Youth is wasted on the young.” Besides food, time is something I don’t like to waste. 22 may be great or it may be the pits. I could either dwell on which it will be, or choose which it will be.

Ultimately with all things, attitude determines the outcome. So on that note, where’s my notepad? There’s a Clarisonic facial brush that needs to be placed as number one on my birthday list.

5 thoughts on “I’m Feeling 22 and I’m Not Sure How to Feel About It

  1. My birthday is on the 5th, I will be 21. I am feeling just like you are! Drinking age in Canada is 19, so I don’t even have that to look forward too.. this is sad… Can we be sad together?

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