Sadly, on numerous occasions I have heard women claim that they don’t have many female friends because they are catty, disloyal, and full of drama. They claim to prefer the friendship of men because they are amicable, loyal, and drama-free. I find this troubling on many levels, as it reminds me of patriarchal dichotomous thinking which implies that women are the negative opposites of men.
For example: Men are dominant, therefore women are submissive. Men are strong willed, therefore women are weak.
Dismissing sisterhood is dismissing a bond like no other. I love my guy friends like Moesha loved Hakeem (before they hooked up and it felt weird), but there are times when I just need my girls. Those are the times when I want more than empathy. I’m looking for someone who truly knows and understands what it’s like to be a woman. Someone who knows what I strive for, what I struggle with.
I often credit girl talk with my best girl friends for keeping me sane at the end of a tough work week or during a bad breakup. According to a NY Times article I read, some studies would agree. It detailed how “sisterly chats” make people happier. Although it dealt solely with biological sisters, I feel the same applies to friends whom I would call a “sister from another mister.”
A perfect instance would be a call I received the other day from a girl friend of my mine from middle school. I was feeling rather blah, for lack of a better term, and I was happy to hear from her. We discussed trivial things like shopping and even cracked up as we made fun of the countless engagement announcements from our peers on Facebook.
“You know, I want to go to a wedding and just be a hater the whole time as I sip from the free open bar.”
“Yes! And say, “I got their gift on clearance anyway!”
After the laughs and hateration, I hung up the phone with a smile. Though we didn’t discuss our worries or troubles, it was as if I just finished a 45-minute therapy session. Your girl friends may know how to push your buttons, but they also know the right time to check on you- even if it means talking about the mundane details of everyday life. As the NY Times article stated, “These seemingly pointless conversations are as comforting to some women as ‘troubles talk’ conversations are to others.”