Lost Myself: A Poem

Lost MyselfPhoto Credit: Jessie Tayy Photography

When I found you, I lost myself.
And when you were long gone, well, so was I.
I yearned for you strongly and without hesitation.
It was a deep desire incapable of being ignored or tuned out.
Refraining had been removed from my understanding
like a page being torn from Webster’s.

I dove right into the deep end of a disastrous romance,
not realizing the potential dangers that lingered beneath the surface.
Once I was under, there was no coming up
no matter how much I clawed at the water above me.
I was drowning in infatuation
and you were the cement blocks causing me to sink.

As time lapsed on my vision grew skewed.
Things once deemed unacceptable didn’t seem so bad after all.
Don’t mean to sound cliché but if loving you was wrong, I didn’t wanna be right.
And if I had to play the Bonnie to your Clyde, then for you I was gonna fight.
We were two storms that combined into something so treacherous
that no end was in near sight.

Deciphering who I was was before you, became an impossible task.
And I was unsure that if I unleashed myself from the proverbial umbilical cord
to this Motherload of a messed up love affair,
that I could survive on my own.

You see, remembering who you are,
isn’t as simple as remembering your Facebook password.
Or your mom’s birthday.
Or hell, even your own birthday.

But I’ll start picking up the pieces
Little by little as I find them.

—Tara Pook

This Morning I Said a Prayer

Vigil for Kalief BrowderPhoto taken at vigil for Kalief Browder

This morning I said a prayer. It wasn’t filled with the usual laundry list of things I need God to fix for me, like my checking account balance or my increasing temper on the NYC Subway.

Instead, I said a prayer much like the ones I recited as a child. I prayed for peace.

I asked God for the joy that was promised to come in the morning, and not another news headline about senseless violence at the hands of hateful individuals. I also asked for compassion and empathy in the hearts of those who turn their attention away from those who are hurting.

At times I miss the days, especially before social media, where perhaps ignorance was bliss and some people had a bit of mystery to them; when you didn’t know a coworker’s opposing political stance, or that your high school classmate was a bigot all along.
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Facing Your Flaws: Getting Personal with Jessie


We love to show off our good side, usually because we like to impress others. But what about the other side that we hide? The “ugly side,” which holds anger, depression, or unhealthy habits. In this video, I open up about my problems with anger and how I learned the reasons behind my behavior.

— Jessie Tayy

Be sure to subscribe to Jessie’s YouTube channel for more “positive vibes & random things.”

Relational Beings

QUOTE BOX

Much like Gabrielle Union’s character in Being Mary Jane, I am what you could call a quote hoarder.

If something said by a friend, family member, or even a stranger on the train resonates with me, I quickly jot it down. This is why carrying a notebook everywhere I go has proven to be a beneficial practice.

On the blog (and Instagram) I will begin sharing some of the cool words of wisdom or insight that I collect day to day. I hope they resonate with you as much as they do with me.

Tara Pook

Immerse Yourself in Creativity

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As Lemon Anderson’s play ToasT came to a close, the actors lined up for a final bow, as the intense emotions of the final scene was still etched on their faces. I too sensed the goosebumps on my arms in the small intimate Public House Theater in the East Village, as the audience enthusiastically applauded the cast’s gripping performance; especially that of Hill Harper, Keith David, and Phillip James Brandon.

As I cheered and hollered, I felt what I could only describe as a surge of inspiration.

I’ve been around a lot of creative energy lately, and I love it. From witnessing the fruit of the labor of artists from actors to writers to musicians, I come away more and more encouraged. Seeing people love and excel at what they do for a living lets me know that it’s possible for me also. I can relate to the passion in a singer’s eyes as they hit the perfect note on stage, and I can sense the gentle care of the artist’s strokes as they accurately portray an emotion on canvas.

I empathize with their experience because my senses tingle and my lips smirk as my thoughts and emotions converge to form the right words on paper.
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I Am Not An Easy Woman to Want: Inspired by Nikki Giovanni

Nikki Giovanni

“It seems no matter how I try I become more difficult to hold.
I am not an easy woman to want.”

—Nikki Giovanni, Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day


I am not an easy woman to want. On occasion, I can be a piece of work. Chasing after me is like attempting to grab a Slinky on a stairwell.

I am not the type of girl to always smother you in kisses, or smother social media with pictures of us. I can be distant at times, perhaps seemingly cold, as I am off in my own fast-paced world of thoughts and visions that are meteoric in nature. Quickly going as they come.

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Knight in Writing Armor: A Poem

notebook

Pen as sword,
notebook as shield,
I battle my inner demons that I dare not whisper.
Consider me a knight,
Not one fighting for monarchy, but for empathy.
So that you may see me as more than your first impressions,
more than my flaws and shortcomings.

See that I’m soul and spirit, troubled by mind and body.
And these words that illustrate my struggles don’t make me an outcast
but it makes me a human being,
who possesses a beating heart filled with a desire to be understood.

Every stroke of my pen is a strike at my bondage.
The world is a cold gray dungeon,
capable of sealing out the slightest ounce of sunshine or hope.
But these letters and punctuation give me strength,
and a will to break free.

I have an overflowing gratitude for this right hand.
It gives me the power that my voice never could,
each time I grab hold of this pen.

—Tara Pook